For months I've dreaded the well-intended question, "Are you feeling better?" How do I answer that? Better than what? I've had migraines, tension headaches, sinus infections, abdominal cramps, muscle spasms, burning joints, back, neck, and shoulder pain, extreme fatigue, nausea, dizziness, chills, sweats, heart palpitations, difficulty breathing, and insomnia for years on end, and any time even one of those symptoms faded the littlest bit I felt "better", but that didn't mean I felt good.
Finally, eighteen months after the initial diagnosis of adrenal exhaustion, this week, I can answer the question. Yes! Yes, I feel better. I've felt better the past week and a half than I have for at least six years. I still can't get up the instant I wake up in the mornings like I did a long, long time ago, and I still have to pace myself and take frequent breaks throughout the day, but I no longer have to sleep several times a day. I can take clean laundry out of the dryer, fold it, and put it away without getting winded. My yard and garden, though still a work in progress, look better than they have in the twelve years we've lived here. I remembered to deliver a verbal message from my grandma to my uncle when I saw him the next day. You can laugh, but seriously, that has not been normal for me. I still have some discomfort, but my heart and lungs are keeping up with me, the headaches are rare, the sinus infections are over, and the pain has lessened.
So now that I feel better, I can live a normal life, right? No. There's still a long road ahead. There are stacks of papers to sort and file, long-neglected corners to scrub, walls that need painting, past-due bills to pay, and so many, many things I should have done a long time ago but couldn't. I have years of photos to print and scrapbook, and that is one of my most difficult tasks, because I remember how horrible I felt at the time they were taken. It was so, so hard to live in that much loneliness and desperation in the middle of such a beautiful life.
