Possibly the most important step in recovering from adrenal fatigue, ironically one that also probably requires the most energy, is enforcing boundaries.
One acquaintance told me, after hearing I'd been diagnosed with adrenal exhaustion, "You'll get really good at saying 'no'." However, saying no for me was not so much the problem as dealing with the backlash when I dared to use the word. (Also ironic was the fact that this particular acquaintance was one who had been most vindictive when I failed to meet her expectations.)
Too many people want to believe they are so special to you that boundaries are not required. Unfortunately that's opposite of the truth. In a healthy relationship, both parties understand and respect the boundaries as well as the need for them. It is increasingly obvious to me not only that those who habitually violate boundaries are unhealthy people, but that they tend to pour toxicity into their relationships. If I want to be healthy, it stands to reason that toxic relationships have to go.
To protect myself and my family I have shed many toxic relationships in recent years. It gets easier as I go along. Interestingly enough, I don't miss the toxic individuals, but they continue to pursue relationships with me. I hope those people will one day become healthy themselves. If/when that happens, I will still be here. So will my boundaries:
I do what I can, don't expect more or less.
I give you the benefit of the doubt; please return the favor.
Call first.
Be honest.
Learn that honesty and rudeness are not the same thing.
Be positive.
A beautiful side effect of weeding toxic relationships out of my life, is having more room for the nurturing kind. I feel better spending less time with negativity, which makes time for positive relationships, which makes me feel even better. It's like compound interest.
Here's a fascinating tidbit: rarely do I ever need to say no anymore. The people around me are giving, not taking. Now I get the chance to offer what I can when I can. And guess what? The little I have to offer is received with much more gratitude than anything I ever gave because I was asked.
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